A reminder to keep it simple & to focus on the minimum effective dose (quantity)

I am currently re-reading both “The 4-hour work week” and “The 4-hour body” (both by Tim Ferriss), and am reminded that I (we) regularly over-complicate our lives and waste a lot of our time focussing on the 80%-97.5% of things that ultimately will make very-little-if-any difference to our lives and to having or doing the things we want.

Our old paradigm of “work hard”, “put in the hours”, “do more” and being busy, are not necessarily serving us – but most of us, including myself, don’t regularly pause and restructure for greatest benefit.

Tim reminds us that in most things in life, as per Pareto’s principle, the 2.5%-20% we put in, can-and-will produce 80%-97.5% of the results.  So if we focus on that Minimum Effective Dose (Quantity), we have time to do more of the things we want to do or achieve.  By way of example, knowing approximately 5% of the most frequently used words in a language can often allow us to understand as much of 95% of communication in that language, and can be achieved in a short amount of time.  Acquiring the other 5% could take a lifetime for very little additinal benefit.

Yesterday, I took myself through his Dreamlining exercise to re-state / re-establish what some of my Having, Being and Doing goals are and just what it would take to actualize these – it was a great reminder that one doesn’t need millions in the bank to have, experience and be all that we want.  By reducing everything to a monthly and daily income to achieve this, it becomes much more realistic.  I worked out that for around £1,000 per day, I can have pretty-much everything in my dreamlining list, including what some might consider an extravagant 2 hours of time flying jet aircraft every month (one of my childhood dreams and something I did for my 40th birthday) – and the best part is that many, many consultants earn way more than this per day (so it is actually achievable as long as we suspend self doubt and focus on the principles in the books.)

I also started on Occam’s protocol for physical training (from “The 4-hour Body”) – with the most challenging part being disciplined enough to suspend disbelief, apply the lessons and actually DO LESS than I would ordinarily do at the gym.  It felt strange walking in, completing my workout in less than 10 minutes, and walking out before all those that were in the gym before me with “That’s it?” expressions on their faces.  Or maybe it was just my projection.

Often considered to be two of the best life-hacking books around, they are well worth a read if you want to transform your work-life, financial situation, health & fitness or just generally have more time to focus on all the things you want to have, be or do. However, as Tim requests in the books, be sceptical WITH action (ie test it out with questions) – DON’T be sceptical with in-action.

Try it out for a month and see how you go.  As always, while I do love reading hard-copies, I recommend buying on Amazon Kindle and opt to Add Audible Narration (so you can interchange between reading and listening as desired or as necessary).  Enjoy!!

Links:

The 4-Hour Work Week: Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich

The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-loss, Incredible Sex and Becoming Superhuman

You Are Powerful Beyond Measure

I am currently re-reading Marianne Williamson’s book “A Return to Love” and have been reminded of her quote that was made famous in Nelson Mandela’s Inaugural Speech – one that we should all use to remind ourselves that We Are Powerful Beyond Measure, and to surrender to the significance of that:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”

What to do when Love Hurts

As I mentioned in my previous post, Using Song Lyrics for empowering decisions and beliefs, “As with many decisions and beliefs we always have to stay mindful of when they (song lyrics) empower and serve us and at which point they no-longer empower and serve us – and then transform them to- or replace them with- new decisions and beliefs.

And now the story of What to do when Love Hurts…

My brother and his wife visited us at a holiday home recently and stayed over for the night.  We were very excited to be spending time with them.  At one point, all except myself were in the games room playing table tennis, and I found myself inside the main house keeping myself apart from the group.  It was very clear to me that I both wanted to have my brother here and that I wanted to spend time connecting with the whole family – so why was I keeping myself apart?

Shortly after, on a work day, I found myself battling to mentally ‘get in the game’ and was spending time playing a video-game on my iPad.  I work from home and our boys were both on school holidays – so requesting the day off to spend time with them would have been an obvious alternative to working.  Yet I found myself spending more and more time playing on the iPad – well into the night.  Connecting on an even deeper level with my wife and children is one of my biggest goals, yet here I was with opportunity, but still keeping myself apart.  Why?

I sat with the questions “What is keeping me from connecting with my family?  What is keeping me apart?  What have I decided (or do I believe) about spending time with them that could cause this?”.  In short, what limiting decisions or beliefs do I have in this area (considering I am already a loving person)?

Then I heard it playing in my mind (in my memory).  the Nazareth Lyrics of “Love Hurts”….

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds
And marks, any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts……ooh, ooh love hurts

I’m young, I know, but even so
I know a thing or two
And I learned from you
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it’s hot
Love hurts……ooh, ooh love hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They’re not foolin’ me

I know it isn’t true, I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Love hurts……ooh, ooh love hurts
ooh, ooh love hurts

Did this serve me?  NO!  Did I intellectually think I believed it?  NO!  But clearly it was there in the recesses of my mind; in my neurology – and clearly I needed to transform it to a decision and belief that serves me.  I used the decision destroyer technique** that I mentioned in my previous post Removing Limiting decisions and limiting beliefs, and the result was this (that you may want to ‘try on’ for yourself):

“Love is amazing, spectacular and fulfilling.  Love is joy, laughter and fun.  Love is all I need.  My love is all I need – it fills me up from the inside out and is undeterred by outside events.  Life’s ups and downs may happen and my love will see me through.  Love is pure and kind and compassionate – it fills me up inside.  Love is wonderful and kind.  ‘Love is blind’.  Everything is better with love.”

As I was undergoing this change in decision and belief, another song’s lyrics sprang to mind.  I decided to tackle it separately and specifically.  The lyrics of Pat Benatar’s song “Love is a Battlefield” are as follows:

We are young
Heartache to heartache
We stand

No promises
No demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong
No one can tell us we’re wrong
Searching our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

You’re begging me to go
Then making me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad
It would help me to know
Do I stand in your way
Or am I the best thing you’ve had

Believe me
Believe me
I can’t tell you why
But I’m trapped by your love
And I’m chained to your side

We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises
No demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong
No one can tell us we’re wrong
Searching our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

When I’m losing control
Will you turn me away
Or touch me deep inside
And when all this gets old
Will it still feel the same
There’s no way this will die
But if we get much closer
I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders
You’ll need me to hold

We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises
No demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong
No one can tell us we’re wrong
Searching our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

The bulk of the lyrics did not serve me, so again I decided to transform them – making a new decision and a new belief.  The new decision that you can also “try on” is:

“Love is a playground – a most magnificent, spectacular playground.  Love is joy and fun and laughter – a ‘place’ we meet and connect with all our friends; a place we make lots & lots of new friends.  Love is a playground of connection, of sharing, and of caring.  Here we are all young, playing joyfully, uninhibited and free.  All are welcome here – all is welcome here.  ‘A smiling face, a happy face for a loving grace (my re-wording of Soul II Soul’s “Jazzie’s Groove”)

So, what is it that you believe about love?  What decisions have you made about it?  Do they serve you, and if not, what will your new decision be once you transform it?

**From Christopher Howard’s “Your Personal Breakthrough”